Everything in life is a matter of choice, I used to believe the opposite. I used to think that before we were born, our life was already planned by fate, destiny, nature, all the greater forces in this universe... by the heavens. The people, places, things, everything... We are here to fulfill a mission and gone when they are completed.
I thought I met him because he was the answer to all of my prayers. A gift from the heavens above, a reward that I deserve for all the good things I did in the past.
Maybe he was just sent my way so I could experience true love before I turned my back on everything and reasons I believed in.
Maybe an experience to teach me that there is a different kind of hurt, a different dimension, a different world of sorrow...
A lesson to learn to be still and just be grateful for simple things... what do they say again, "All that is excessive is not good". I don't know how to swim but still, I let myself drowned to the greatest happiness I ever felt... soared past the heavens and beyond.
A borrowed time, a borrowed happiness... that is all I was given... while I am hopeful, grateful, and thankful, I am also left broken.
No amount of words is enough to soothe the ache that is slowly eating me inside.
I have a choice, I could easily turn my back and force myself to leave and walk away but I am also choosing to stay no matter how much it hurts... somehow there is comfort in this lonely and dark place...
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