Aloha everyone im Josh nice to meet
you whomever i come in contact with i hope to find a true ride or die partner in good crimes
♏...Hi im a local boy from HAWAII still here infact🫠i feel ready and open to be in a truly meaningful and deep relationship with a kind,
and empathetic woman who is willing to have me as her BF/HUSBAND ....
1ST MY STORY SO FAR... 18 YEARS AGO AND SEEMS SO LONG BUT I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I REMEMBER MY MOM CALLING ME SAYING I NEED TO GET HOME MY BROTHER WAS SHOT AND HE'S GONE
🤬 MY HEART DROPPED PEOPLE THINK THE GO OVER SCENARIOS OF HOW WOULD THEY REACT IF THEY LOST THE SIBLING OR PERSON AND IN ALL HONESTY I WAS NOT PREPARED EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT ABOUT THE SCENARIO A FEW TIMES GROWING UP I WAS SHOCKED AND THE OVERWHELMING FEELING MADE ME SICK I STARTED🤢🤮 THROWING UP MY SADNESS CUPPED WITH THE WORDS MY MOTHER USED. BROTHER, SHOT, PASSED, HOME.. WAS ALL THAT REGISTERED FOR A BIT THEN MY INITIAL SHOCK VIEWED BY EMOTIONAL DISTRESS TURNED ALMOST INTO UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE I WAS GOING TO COME HOME ALREADY FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED WHO DID IT I'LL LEAVE THE REST UP TO YOUR IMAGINATION... I WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED THE NEXT MONTH MY BEST MAN IS GONE MY OTHER BROTHER IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE STEPPING IN AND SO I SAID GOODBYE TO MY GAL AND
LANDED HOME IN HAWAII MET WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ETC. HELPED PLAN MY BROTHER'S FUNERAL DETAILS.. I was home for 1 week 6 days we cremated my brother he died the same week as Thanksgiving.. then my phone rang I answered hello thinking it would be somebody to give their condolences
but it was a hospital paramedic who said my fiance was in a car accident but she gave him my number to let me know that she is going to being taken to the hospital.. I quickly get off the phone with that guy find out which hospital she was taking to freaked out but glad that she was alive.. I called the hospital was put on hold finally a doctor comes on the phone and says he's sorry but her injuries were more extensive than they thought and by the time she got there she was already gone. we weren't married and I was not immediate family so they couldn't tell me much more than that. Her parents did not like the idea of me being a fighter/coach / a lot of other things but at that time that's what I was doing. They opposed us getting together because they might be right about this she was too good for me but she didn't think so and so it was her decision to do this whether they like it or not.. as he could imagine my world as I knew it instantly stopped my heart was busted the overwhelming loss my brothers strange situation leading up to his passing
my fiance passing without me being there the guilt of not being there for my brother or her was too much to bear I plunge deep into alcoholism survivor guilt and anger towards any higher powers that made me fearless of everything ever been so pissed off you just didn't care if you lived or died imagine that for 10 years straight blaspheming every religion every God everything in almost everyone I in my sorrow pushed everyone I know away it was inconsolable and I wanted either them back or pay back.. this is where my journey began I spent $5,000 on the grimoire yeah not the best thinking but what I was going to use on her honeymoon I spent on magic demonology crossroad demons demons that specialize in certain things angels that specialize in certain things other entities that specialized in things I was not afraid of calling every single thing that could be called to bring them back in exchange for my own soul now as you may see or tell I wasn't in the best frame of mine for a long time I was numb to any kind of feeling the only thing I was focused on was getting them back almost like pet cemetery I knew there's a chance that it might not be them that came back but I still was going to try.. this is where it gets kind of crazy I learned about different magic different cult beliefs different esoteric hidden knowledge things I learned about old gods lesser gods chaotic gods Sophia the demi-erg the evil gods good gods the fact that they were gods and what we had to do to either appease them for their help, & or sacrifice to call them I won't go into too much detail of what I asked to sacrifice let's just see that's where my magic practicing thing ended there's some lines I won't cross no matter how sad I was a life for a life it's not a fair trade it's sad and that continues the evil cycle I'm a lot of things but I'm not evil far from it actually now I understand in my heartache I was misguided but it was all from a place of weird twisted love and not being able to let go I found myself lost . I had no more life energy no more spark for living anymore this is already some years after they were gone next thing I knew studying so much being so obsessed 10 years passed and around their anniversary of passing of my brother and fiance I took my own life and when I did it I had an experience that changed my life I also make content on Smule if any of you are interested telling people that things I've learned over the years I try to use my story and experience to show people that they're not alone and that they are loved no matter what.. I was brought back with a purpose I literally got to be with the oversoul and the creator of all" the presence I'll just say this about the experience the amount of love I felt understanding compassion the feeling of it's okay everything's going to be all right you're safe you're home and you're a truly loved it and missed and the conversation I had with the over so it was so profound to me that I could not talk about the experience for years after I had it.. But when I awoke I was healed from the trauma I wish everyone could experience meeting the Creator of all because once you are in it's presence it made me realize the folly of what I was doing thinking and blaming the whole time when it had nothing to do with the Creator. I was not his fault he did not take her for me he did not take my brother for me my brother took his own life accidental suicide they call it. my fiance was hit by a man that was drinking from 7:00 in the morning and she was hit around 7:00 p.m. I hated that man's guts for years even had thoughts of ending him as soon as he walked out of the prison but over time talking with the over so understanding what I'm in and what I'm here to do I realized he did not wake up intending the murder anyone accidental or otherwise he just wasn't about who was an alcoholic it was an accident and he has to live with it what he did I forgave him eventually. so with all these things happening in these supernatural things happening and I mean things first thing I noticed from waking up was that I could see colors coming out of people I thought I was tripping the next thing I saw was things attached to some people it's almost like a DMT trip that never ends I guess but it's not my imagination it's not superpowers it's not anything but the veil being lifted a little earlier for myself since I got the glimpse other side I don't even know where I was I was on a tiny little planet looking thing was beautiful after I got the hospital I checked myself straight into rehab I promised them I'd get my s*** together and I have been doing that since the conversations I had with the God it was very profound in life changing because I was literally studying black magic arts to do some stupid s*** was showing the other side and the questions I asked what I was sleeping the answers would instantly be downloaded into my head. eventually my anger subsided I found peace and peace turned into compassion and empathy for others and I found with compassion i found strength. and my strength with a deeper understanding i found healing and some could say redemption for myself. I've been walking this path ever since just to be better doesn't matter if it's a lot or a little but constant growth evolution the only thing that I can say that we're evolving to is something amazing people think that is the end when it's just the going back to where it all began we are light beings and if God can't die and we're all pieces of the eternal what makes you think you can die lol.. this past 7 years no talking to woman no one night stands no dating at all I need to understand who I was and now that I do I'm open to it but I'm not the same person I was when I started dating I won't even know how to talk to any of y'all because my face has been basically buried in books. the things I cared about before this happened to me like becoming the champion etc and mean nothing to me now the only thing that means anything to me is authenticity and Truth and I've been searching high and low for it I think I'm pretty close to knowing the basics but I had to admit I was pretty stupid before thinking I was smart and I'm probably still stupid now cuz I'm a guy but I'm not well intentioned person I just was like I said lost but I've been good for a while the years and I understand now that it had to be this way everything happens for a reason I understand if my fiance never passed I would not have changed.. I I'm a bit scared to lose anyone that I care about but the only thing that's worse than that is never putting yourself out there so here I am I'm an open book I don't lie life's too short for that kind of stupidity cheating all that stuff means nothing to me. I use my time to make videos to tell people that they're loved who they truly are and what we are to do while here I can't get into it because of this thing called potentia.. I can't just disclose any information without it maybe affecting your life without your consent because if I just started spewing stuff and you took it as whatever the case may be for some reason you're hurt by this knowledge I would have to pay for that karma so to keep myself good and you good I won't tell you any of the lessons unless specifically asked.
I'm a Scorpio with a Jesus complex so I used to think and I realized eventually not to cast pearls in front of swine. sometimes less is more I see people in stages of their life now I see deeper meaning behind everything I see things that some people can't see and before you think I'm crazy ask me to see proof because I've been documenting it for some time. maybe I'll write a book about it oneday
I used to be a jujitsu coach the competitor I've done all kind of jobs from tree climbing being a chef who specialized in Pacific cuisine and also Asian / Russian and I learned all this from an Italian Man From Italy 🤣 nowadays I just spend my time studying refining what I learned love you my animals my dog half a Brazilian Mastiff who walked into my campsite and we've been together ever since and every 65 days your cat or dog is a year older so every 2 months about I give my dog a birthday party her favorite food and stuff like that
if you have a birthday party for her every 2 months the whole one year and 7 year difference or 5 year difference in the change into whatever it is it's different because then you start really realizing how fast time is going for your animal makes me want to give her the best experiences I can I'm not a very rich man anymore except for with compassion and love but I am a good cook and stuff like that so what I can't give her a physical going places experience and give her with food like the taste of the oriented Russia I'm just passing through this place I want a partner to give myself to but I need to know that I was ready and open and not just how some people say trying to get over someone by sliding under somebody or something like that I don't even know anymore I just want a loving genuine experience without all the other b******* that would come in relationships when people are either young dumb or full of ,you know what... any girls that have been messaging me if I wanted to chat and I say
ok. instantly ask how tall are you how much money do you make what do you do for a living feels like I was in an interview with a boss that already didn't like me if I ask that of a woman just meeting them I could see if she got offended so the people that message me with that first question like that I simply just ignore this this
isn't my home I'm just passing through an anomaly with a different understanding then most.. I don't understand when in Rome and I understand it we have to pay bills I understand we have to eat because our bodies are tethered to this realm and so we have physical needs and everything else that comes with it.. I see my truth and I stand in it sometimes my compassion and lack of filter if I see corruption got me in a lot of trouble where I've been misbranded where I'm from as a local terrorist because I wanted to save my mountain crazy stuff this
. I would like somebody that is very spiritual kind and has a gentle temperament because I am passionate fiery when it comes to people being shady or s***** to other people..I'm not afraid of death I'm not afraid of life now I'm afraid of not reaching my full potential before the clock runs out so I've been hustling working on myself since but I think seven years is a long time. I teach people now to look inside themselves I say that if you use your energy to worship a deity then you are actually throwing away your own divinity anything else just ask.. I'm a Scorpio and everything that comes with that but I'm not the jealous thing or type anymore and I have first outgrown that jealousy all that stuff is just part of the system that keeps you coming back here. I try to leave a good decent life even though I'm part of no religion and I genuinely disagree with most of it and this is coming from a man that studied apologetics for 6 years about
I look forward to hearing from you. PS I just said all of that backstory so you have a little bit better things have been through but although it's sad and all that stuff it I have definitely put it that to rest a long time ago..alohas
you whomever i come in contact with i hope to find a true ride or die partner in good crimes
♏...Hi im a local boy from HAWAII still here infact🫠i feel ready and open to be in a truly meaningful and deep relationship with a kind, 
and empathetic woman who is willing to have me as her BF/HUSBAND .... 
1ST MY STORY SO FAR... 18 YEARS AGO AND SEEMS SO LONG BUT I STILL REMEMBER EVERYTHING LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I REMEMBER MY MOM CALLING ME SAYING I NEED TO GET HOME MY BROTHER WAS SHOT AND HE'S GONE 
🤬 MY HEART DROPPED PEOPLE THINK THE GO OVER SCENARIOS OF HOW WOULD THEY REACT IF THEY LOST THE SIBLING OR PERSON AND IN ALL HONESTY I WAS NOT PREPARED EVEN THOUGH I THOUGHT ABOUT THE SCENARIO A FEW TIMES GROWING UP I WAS SHOCKED AND THE OVERWHELMING FEELING MADE ME SICK I STARTED🤢🤮 THROWING UP MY SADNESS CUPPED WITH THE WORDS MY MOTHER USED. BROTHER, SHOT, PASSED, HOME.. WAS ALL THAT REGISTERED FOR A BIT THEN MY INITIAL SHOCK VIEWED BY EMOTIONAL DISTRESS TURNED ALMOST INTO UNCONTROLLABLE RAGE I WAS GOING TO COME HOME ALREADY FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED WHO DID IT I'LL LEAVE THE REST UP TO YOUR IMAGINATION... I WAS GOING TO GET MARRIED THE NEXT MONTH MY BEST MAN IS GONE MY OTHER BROTHER IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE STEPPING IN AND SO I SAID GOODBYE TO MY GAL AND 
LANDED HOME IN HAWAII MET WITH MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS ETC. HELPED PLAN MY BROTHER'S FUNERAL DETAILS.. I was home for 1 week 6 days we cremated my brother he died the same week as Thanksgiving.. then my phone rang I answered hello thinking it would be somebody to give their condolences 
but it was a hospital paramedic who said my fiance was in a car accident but she gave him my number to let me know that she is going to being taken to the hospital.. I quickly get off the phone with that guy find out which hospital she was taking to freaked out but glad that she was alive.. I called the hospital was put on hold finally a doctor comes on the phone and says he's sorry but her injuries were more extensive than they thought and by the time she got there she was already gone. we weren't married and I was not immediate family so they couldn't tell me much more than that. Her parents did not like the idea of me being a fighter/coach / a lot of other things but at that time that's what I was doing. They opposed us getting together because they might be right about this she was too good for me but she didn't think so and so it was her decision to do this whether they like it or not.. as he could imagine my world as I knew it instantly stopped my heart was busted the overwhelming loss my brothers strange situation leading up to his passing 
my fiance passing without me being there the guilt of not being there for my brother or her was too much to bear I plunge deep into alcoholism survivor guilt and anger towards any higher powers that made me fearless of everything ever been so pissed off you just didn't care if you lived or died imagine that for 10 years straight blaspheming every religion every God everything in almost everyone I in my sorrow pushed everyone I know away it was inconsolable and I wanted either them back or pay back.. this is where my journey began I spent $5,000 on the grimoire yeah not the best thinking but what I was going to use on her honeymoon I spent on magic demonology crossroad demons demons that specialize in certain things angels that specialize in certain things other entities that specialized in things I was not afraid of calling every single thing that could be called to bring them back in exchange for my own soul now as you may see or tell I wasn't in the best frame of mine for a long time I was numb to any kind of feeling the only thing I was focused on was getting them back almost like pet cemetery I knew there's a chance that it might not be them that came back but I still was going to try.. this is where it gets kind of crazy I learned about different magic different cult beliefs different esoteric hidden knowledge things I learned about old gods lesser gods chaotic gods Sophia the demi-erg the evil gods good gods the fact that they were gods and what we had to do to either appease them for their help, & or sacrifice to call them I won't go into too much detail of what I asked to sacrifice let's just see that's where my magic practicing thing ended there's some lines I won't cross no matter how sad I was a life for a life it's not a fair trade it's sad and that continues the evil cycle I'm a lot of things but I'm not evil far from it actually now I understand in my heartache I was misguided but it was all from a place of weird twisted love and not being able to let go I found myself lost . I had no more life energy no more spark for living anymore this is already some years after they were gone next thing I knew studying so much being so obsessed 10 years passed and around their anniversary of passing of my brother and fiance I took my own life and when I did it I had an experience that changed my life I also make content on Smule if any of you are interested telling people that things I've learned over the years I try to use my story and experience to show people that they're not alone and that they are loved no matter what.. I was brought back with a purpose I literally got to be with the oversoul and the creator of all" the presence I'll just say this about the experience the amount of love I felt understanding compassion the feeling of it's okay everything's going to be all right you're safe you're home and you're a truly loved it and missed and the conversation I had with the over so it was so profound to me that I could not talk about the experience for years after I had it.. But when I awoke I was healed from the trauma I wish everyone could experience meeting the Creator of all because once you are in it's presence it made me realize the folly of what I was doing thinking and blaming the whole time when it had nothing to do with the Creator. I was not his fault he did not take her for me he did not take my brother for me my brother took his own life accidental suicide they call it. my fiance was hit by a man that was drinking from 7:00 in the morning and she was hit around 7:00 p.m. I hated that man's guts for years even had thoughts of ending him as soon as he walked out of the prison but over time talking with the over so understanding what I'm in and what I'm here to do I realized he did not wake up intending the murder anyone accidental or otherwise he just wasn't about who was an alcoholic it was an accident and he has to live with it what he did I forgave him eventually. so with all these things happening in these supernatural things happening and I mean things first thing I noticed from waking up was that I could see colors coming out of people I thought I was tripping the next thing I saw was things attached to some people it's almost like a DMT trip that never ends I guess but it's not my imagination it's not superpowers it's not anything but the veil being lifted a little earlier for myself since I got the glimpse other side I don't even know where I was I was on a tiny little planet looking thing was beautiful after I got the hospital I checked myself straight into rehab I promised them I'd get my s*** together and I have been doing that since the conversations I had with the God it was very profound in life changing because I was literally studying black magic arts to do some stupid s*** was showing the other side and the questions I asked what I was sleeping the answers would instantly be downloaded into my head. eventually my anger subsided I found peace and peace turned into compassion and empathy for others and I found with compassion i found strength. and my strength with a deeper understanding i found healing and some could say redemption for myself. I've been walking this path ever since just to be better doesn't matter if it's a lot or a little but constant growth evolution the only thing that I can say that we're evolving to is something amazing people think that is the end when it's just the going back to where it all began we are light beings and if God can't die and we're all pieces of the eternal what makes you think you can die lol.. this past 7 years no talking to woman no one night stands no dating at all I need to understand who I was and now that I do I'm open to it but I'm not the same person I was when I started dating I won't even know how to talk to any of y'all because my face has been basically buried in books. the things I cared about before this happened to me like becoming the champion etc and mean nothing to me now the only thing that means anything to me is authenticity and Truth and I've been searching high and low for it I think I'm pretty close to knowing the basics but I had to admit I was pretty stupid before thinking I was smart and I'm probably still stupid now cuz I'm a guy but I'm not well intentioned person I just was like I said lost but I've been good for a while the years and I understand now that it had to be this way everything happens for a reason I understand if my fiance never passed I would not have changed.. I I'm a bit scared to lose anyone that I care about but the only thing that's worse than that is never putting yourself out there so here I am I'm an open book I don't lie life's too short for that kind of stupidity cheating all that stuff means nothing to me. I use my time to make videos to tell people that they're loved who they truly are and what we are to do while here I can't get into it because of this thing called potentia.. I can't just disclose any information without it maybe affecting your life without your consent because if I just started spewing stuff and you took it as whatever the case may be for some reason you're hurt by this knowledge I would have to pay for that karma so to keep myself good and you good I won't tell you any of the lessons unless specifically asked.
I'm a Scorpio with a Jesus complex so I used to think and I realized eventually not to cast pearls in front of swine. sometimes less is more I see people in stages of their life now I see deeper meaning behind everything I see things that some people can't see and before you think I'm crazy ask me to see proof because I've been documenting it for some time. maybe I'll write a book about it oneday
I used to be a jujitsu coach the competitor I've done all kind of jobs from tree climbing being a chef who specialized in Pacific cuisine and also Asian / Russian and I learned all this from an Italian Man From Italy 🤣 nowadays I just spend my time studying refining what I learned love you my animals my dog half a Brazilian Mastiff who walked into my campsite and we've been together ever since and every 65 days your cat or dog is a year older so every 2 months about I give my dog a birthday party her favorite food and stuff like that 
ok. instantly ask how tall are you how much money do you make what do you do for a living feels like I was in an interview with a boss that already didn't like me if I ask that of a woman just meeting them I could see if she got offended so the people that message me with that first question like that I simply just ignore this this 
. I would like somebody that is very spiritual kind and has a gentle temperament because I am passionate fiery when it comes to people being shady or s***** to other people..I'm not afraid of death I'm not afraid of life now I'm afraid of not reaching my full potential before the clock runs out so I've been hustling working on myself since but I think seven years is a long time. I teach people now to look inside themselves I say that if you use your energy to worship a deity then you are actually throwing away your own divinity anything else just ask.. I'm a Scorpio and everything that comes with that but I'm not the jealous thing or type anymore and I have first outgrown that jealousy all that stuff is just part of the system that keeps you coming back here. I try to leave a good decent life even though I'm part of no religion and I genuinely disagree with most of it and this is coming from a man that studied apologetics for 6 years about 
I look forward to hearing from you. PS I just said all of that backstory so you have a little bit better things have been through but although it's sad and all that stuff it I have definitely put it that to rest a long time ago..alohas
