Topic: Anybody else lonely around the holidays?
Reply
lily's photo

lily

Mon 11/23/15 06:10 AM

I hope I'm not the only one. Let's talk.
I'd actually give anything to have it magically be January 1st.
Anyone else? GO!
lily's photo

lily

Mon 11/23/15 06:14 AM

Sorry, I don't know why I posted this in the game section.."oh well
jarviep's photo

jarviep

Mon 11/23/15 06:36 AM

The holidays are the hardest time. I can't even find my spirit anymore. Anyone seen it?
lily's photo

lily

Mon 11/23/15 06:57 AM

Everyone thinks I'm the biggest Scrooge. I just can't get into the commercialism of thanksgiving and Christmas.
I used to love the holidays. Now I dread them. I dread them because it always seems like I'm alone and depressed.
The rest of the year I do great. I really don't understand it.
Jesusprincessmt's photo

Jesusprincessmt

Mon 11/23/15 07:13 AM

Yeah I admit holidays are some of the difficult times in my life. When I start to feel I am lacking something then I go help someone in need. My church has a Thanksgiving dinner so that is fun and helps curb the loneliness. For Christmas time, I try to throw parties. There are people that are lonely like me, but even two or three people curbs that loneliness. New years eve is harder because people have plans early, but I still reach out. Valentine's day I randomly give out conversation heart boxes. Just remember somebody else is out there and lonely also
no photo

joethebricky

Mon 11/23/15 07:13 AM

Yes I do at Christmas and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

There's only so many people you can visit and only a certain amount of time you can spend with them without feeling you're getting in the way.

tears
TMommy's photo

TMommy

Mon 11/23/15 07:17 AM

I love them..from Halloween to New Year's..



ooooh it was hard the year my oldest son moved away
but I still have my 15 year old with me


and I have a one year old grandson so holidays are starting to be fun once again. bigsmile

will I get lonesome when my 15 year old turns 18 and goes off to college? yes I am certain I will but still I plan on decorating and making cookies for I know they will come home to mama at Christmas happy
no photo

TBone5280

Mon 11/23/15 09:23 AM


Everyone thinks I'm the biggest Scrooge. I just can't get into the commercialism of thanksgiving and Christmas.
I used to love the holidays. Now I dread them. I dread them because it always seems like I'm alone and depressed.
The rest of the year I do great. I really don't understand it.

Yeah, I can sure understand that. I've lost both parents now, & no kids, so not a whole lot of reason for me to get excited about the season. ohwell
jarviep's photo

jarviep

Mon 11/23/15 11:34 AM

My family and I have experienced a lot of loss around this time of year. I lost a sister in law on Oct 31, one on Nov 17, my MIL on Jan 16, my husband on Nov 3. We lost 3 family members last year. It has been hard to get into the spirit. I have a one year old grand daughter so things might start looking up.
SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo

SparklingCrystal 💖💎

Mon 11/23/15 11:45 AM

I never get people that get lonely during the holidays.
It means you are not happy the other 363 days of the year either. So why con yourself into believing it's only the holidays?
Work on getting happy 365 days a year and you won't be bothered by it anymore.

Happiness is found within, not without.
You can have happier Christmases on your own than with someone you don't really resonate with, you know.
You can feel much much lonelier in a relationship than you feel on your own.

I really think it's such a shame that people feel miserable during the holidays, just because it's the holidays.
Why flick that switch at midnight from feeling your normal self to feeling a miserable git?
Like I said, if you are truly happy, it wouldn't matter one bit. Not one bit at all!


mightymoe's photo

mightymoe

Mon 11/23/15 11:46 AM

Las Vegas, California?...huh
Dodo_David's photo

Dodo_David

Mon 11/23/15 11:51 AM

It is a shame that so many people fail to focus on the reason for a holiday.
Then again, plenty of people don't celebrate what a holiday is about. Instead, they substitute the reason for the season with something else.
When the substitute fails to satisfy, they get depressed.
PacificStar48's photo

PacificStar48

Mon 11/23/15 12:01 PM

I think anyone single knows the feeling.

I have gotten where I throw a Bah Humbug party. Even if I am in the holiday spirit I call it completely off at least for one day and just concentrate on doing something fun that is not holiday related any way shape or form. Definitely a sanity saver.

It seems to be catching on with my friends and is really so much easier than the phony over the top my family is perfect BS that so many seem to put out during the "season".

And it is not that I am anti the Reason for the Season; I could just do with more faith and less "frosty/santa/and grandma getting run over by a reindeer and feeling like and ATM with Grey hair.

Generally our weather is not as brutal as some but if it is dreary and damp I would rather wear a summer shirt over my long handles than some UGLY FUGLY Christmas sweater that is itchy and over priced. And sorry I am not some snow bunny willing to slip and slide through snow and ice to buy eggnog (gross in my books) at some ski lodge teaming with hyper excited kids I am not related to. lol I sure am way past wanting to sleep on airport floors to get anywhere. Black Friday; come on that has to have masochist under it in the dictionary.

Nope I am skipping the seasonal stuff this year and painting my bedroom.
Dodo_David's photo

Dodo_David

Mon 11/23/15 12:04 PM


Nope I am skipping the seasonal stuff this year and painting my bedroom.

Wouldn't it be more fun to paint the town? indifferent
PacificStar48's photo

PacificStar48

Mon 11/23/15 12:24 PM



Nope I am skipping the seasonal stuff this year and painting my bedroom.

Wouldn't it be more fun to paint the town? indifferent


Yea that is possible too. If I don't get into incidentals with the DIY I will probably do the Winter Wonderland at Cal Expo. LOL not a total Scrooge.
no photo

TBone5280

Mon 11/23/15 01:22 PM


I never get people that get lonely during the holidays.
It means you are not happy the other 363 days of the year either. So why con yourself into believing it's only the holidays?
Work on getting happy 365 days a year and you won't be bothered by it anymore.

Happiness is found within, not without.
You can have happier Christmases on your own than with someone you don't really resonate with, you know.
You can feel much much lonelier in a relationship than you feel on your own.

I really think it's such a shame that people feel miserable during the holidays, just because it's the holidays.
Why flick that switch at midnight from feeling your normal self to feeling a miserable git?
Like I said, if you are truly happy, it wouldn't matter one bit. Not one bit at all!


In my case (as with several others, I suspect), a large part of it is events during the season bringing up reminders of family gatherings, wonderful meals, love & laughter. Now many of those people have passed on, & when I'm reminded of times that I spent with them, I feel their loss keenly.

Pardon me if I'm misunderstanding, but your post makes it sound like anyone in this situation simply needs to "perk up!" & "be chipper!", & all will be right with the world. I would argue that such a viewpoint is grossly simplistic & not especially realistic for many people. No offense intended, I've tried to make this a response to your post, & not a personal attack.

I think that the answer (for me anyway) is to 'look outward' & become active in trying to make the season better for others, & to spend minimal time looking inward/back.
no photo

ciretom

Mon 11/23/15 01:41 PM

Anybody else lonely around the holidays?

Lots of people on the internet.
You'll really start seeing them around the holidays.
Especially when you start seeing tons of brand new profiles that say they are "serious" and looking for "the one" and don't want to wait or "play games."
And of course the obligatory "realized I'm lonely, it's that time of year," or, "looking for my last new years kiss!" or,"the holidays are lonely but I swear that's not why I'm here now."

I'd actually give anything to have it magically be January 1st.
Anyone else?

I don't think I'd give "anything."
But I would be willing to make some sacrifice for it to be January 1st 1980.
That would be freakin' sweet.

I mean if we're going to time travel I'm going back to the 80's and coming up with shows like Miami Vice, Manimal, A-team, Dukes of Hazzard, Moonlighting. I'm ruling Hollywood with the awesome movies I churn out. I'm discovering artists and rappers. I'm writing songs and books. I'm inventing Microsoft and Google and the south beach diet and power juicing and the Hummer.
I'm taking over the world and investing in the inventing of Japanese lovebots so no one is ever lonely for the holidays.

Why would I go forward in time and just lose days, weeks, or years of my life?
Go back and get them back in a big way.

I dread them because it always seems like I'm alone and depressed.

I dread them for the ticket prices to fly back.
December 1st fly back to see my family? $300.
December 22nd fly back to see my family? $700.
I'm right on the cusp of lobbying my family to start celebrating holidays on non holiday days.
Christmas? December 3rd. Boom, an extra $400. Spend an additional $200 for nicer more thoughtful presents, still $200 savings.

I just can't get into the commercialism of thanksgiving and Christmas

I kinda like the expectation of commercialism of the holidays.
That means I don't have to try that hard or realize I have absolutely nothing in common with family that lives 2000 miles away and I only see maybe once a year.

The rest of the year I do great. I really don't understand it.

The rest of the year doesn't really force you to reprise your role as anything other than consumer and producer.
Holidays force you to be more of a social animal with social facades.
Holidays forces you to focus on other people rather than your day to day to week to month survival.
It's change of focus.
Change sucks and screws with people.
When people experience the trauma of change, they want to feel social unity, safe in the group herd, they want other people.
Which is ironic.
TMommy's photo

TMommy

Mon 11/23/15 02:05 PM



I never get people that get lonely during the holidays.
It means you are not happy the other 363 days of the year either. So why con yourself into believing it's only the holidays?
Work on getting happy 365 days a year and you won't be bothered by it anymore.

Happiness is found within, not without.
You can have happier Christmases on your own than with someone you don't really resonate with, you know.
You can feel much much lonelier in a relationship than you feel on your own.

I really think it's such a shame that people feel miserable during the holidays, just because it's the holidays.
Why flick that switch at midnight from feeling your normal self to feeling a miserable git?
Like I said, if you are truly happy, it wouldn't matter one bit. Not one bit at all!


In my case (as with several others, I suspect), a large part of it is events during the season bringing up reminders of family gatherings, wonderful meals, love & laughter. Now many of those people have passed on, & when I'm reminded of times that I spent with them, I feel their loss keenly.

Pardon me if I'm misunderstanding, but your post makes it sound like anyone in this situation simply needs to "perk up!" & "be chipper!", & all will be right with the world. I would argue that such a viewpoint is grossly simplistic & not especially realistic for many people. No offense intended, I've tried to make this a response to your post, & not a personal attack.

I think that the answer (for me anyway) is to 'look outward' & become active in trying to make the season better for others, & to spend minimal time looking inward/back.


good idea :thumbsup:
there are lots of community events and charitable happenings around the holidays that you could get involved in if you wanted to happy
jarviep's photo

jarviep

Mon 11/23/15 02:18 PM


I never get people that get lonely during the holidays.
It means you are not happy the other 363 days of the year either. So why con yourself into believing it's only the holidays?
Work on getting happy 365 days a year and you won't be bothered by it anymore.

Happiness is found within, not without.
You can have happier Christmases on your own than with someone you don't really resonate with, you know.
You can feel much much lonelier in a relationship than you feel on your own.

I really think it's such a shame that people feel miserable during the holidays, just because it's the holidays.
Why flick that switch at midnight from feeling your normal self to feeling a miserable git?
Like I said, if you are truly happy, it wouldn't matter one bit. Not one bit at all!


Sorry but no one said they were not happy people. There is a difference between being happy and being lonely. I am very happy most of the time. I like my own company. I do not know how this went from being lonely to being unhappy, unhealthy people. What did I miss?

Edited by jarviep on Mon 11/23/15 02:19 PM
no photo

cheechako

Mon 11/23/15 05:41 PM

Tell me about Las Vegas California. Is it nice there?