Topic: Spanking Children PRO/ Cons...
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sillyatheart3

Fri 07/24/09 03:45 AM

Dhs runs most laws in the state, they believe in there bi laws that spanking children is harmful to there growth. They believe that you can 're direct' your child to a better understanding.

are you for spanking or re directing your child.

Were you spanked as a child or talked too.

I have never had a spanking in my life.......... from my parents! NO JOKING>>> they did not believe in it...

Out come, I spend my life feeling as i was never loved! When all the other children, got chores, and allowance, spankings.

I got what ever i wanted, Go to your room.. OK GREAT! I can watch colored tv, turn on the radio, play games, call my girlfriends and with in 20mints i am walking out the house to go and play.

While all the other kids are grounded for 2 weeks.. who suffered.. ME, I had no one to play with.. Haa haa ha

Yes! I had children, YES i spanked them and YES they love me so much and respect me.

NO! I hated my parents, and i did not respect them not until I turned 28yrs old... Now I know the Truth....

they were beaten with belts........ OOOPPSSSS>>>>>
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1956deluxe

Fri 07/24/09 04:15 AM

I was subjected to TORTURE as a child....I must have been really loved. flowerforyou
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IchBinGebrochen

Fri 07/24/09 04:22 AM

Hmm, Ive never been grounded. Sent to the room, yeah. The old man would take the t.v. phone and radio though. And as far as spanking goes, He'd beat my a** red with a 2x4. Harmful to growth? Im 6'0 and 245 so thats B.S. Harmful mentally? I dont think so. I own my own business and am studying to be a pilot. No history of mental anguish or repressed child hood feelings or any crap like that.
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azsweetie

Fri 07/24/09 06:43 AM

I try to do a punishment that goes with the act.but if they do it again after being talked about heck yes they get a spanking!!! and i'm always being told how well behaved my kids are.Redirecting works well for toddlers and 3's....once they're old enough to tottally understand thats when punsihment starts
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unsure

Fri 07/24/09 08:59 AM

I honestly believe that is whats wrong with these kids today, if you really think about it...the kids act like they are the boss of their parents. I was spanked as a child and I did spank my boys. My boys turned out to be very well mannered young men. Everyone tells me what a good parent I am because my boys are very respectful, so I did something right flowerforyou
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keith1916

Fri 07/24/09 09:10 AM


I honestly believe that is whats wrong with these kids today, if you really think about it...the kids act like they are the boss of their parents. I was spanked as a child and I did spank my boys. My boys turned out to be very well mannered young men. Everyone tells me what a good parent I am because my boys are very respectful, so I did something right flowerforyou
i agree with youflowerforyou my mum and dad gave us a good smack when we were,naughty or rude and we were also brought up with manners,please and thankyou.and because off all the laws now,thats why there are so many yobs on our streets these days "not all kids "but its the bad apples that give the rest a bad name.so no smacking in my opinion is not a bad thing..
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earthytaurus76

Fri 07/24/09 10:45 AM


I was subjected to TORTURE as a child....I must have been really loved. flowerforyou



:thumbsup: PULEASE!!! Your upset because you were never hit?


Ok.. you can have my irreversible, psycological damage then. Ill take your "go to your room" experience.


Thats the most absurd thing I have ever heard.


Ive never spanked my son, nor will I, and hes never disrecpected me.
Edited by earthytaurus76 on Fri 07/24/09 10:45 AM
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Foliel

Sat 07/25/09 03:37 PM

I was spanked when i was younger, but only 4 times in my entire life.

My youngest sister was never spanked....her punishments were:

Groundation -- she'd walk out anyways

priviledges revokes -- shed hit my mother, start yelling and screaming and then do it anyways.

She hit my other sister once...my sister smacked her back and she never hit her again.

My youngest sister has no respect for anyone, she is not allowed in most people homes due to her lying, swearing and disrespect.

I grew up respecting my mom, I was never fearful of her and I was very respectful.

My mom also never believed in belts or paddles and she never, ever hit bare skin.

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adj4u

Sat 07/25/09 03:48 PM

the best way to redirect a child is with blunt force to their rear end

it is the only thing that works

look at the changes in society since spanking has been all but outlawed

the crime rate among teenagers and young adults is skyrocketing

drug use is up

and teen pregnancy is up

but hey ...........
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lulu24

Sat 07/25/09 04:42 PM

i have amazing children, and i've never spanked a single one of them.

what are you teaching a child when you strike them? that...when someone does something that's "wrong" or against the rules, they can hit them?

studies have shown that domestic violence rates are higher for women who were spanked when they were children. "i'm doing this because i love you"...

i teach by example. i show respect, and i get it as well. i want my kids to see my hands as helpful, and to NEVER fear me.

discipline is an absolute must, but it can be accomplished with other means than punishment. negative reinforcement and natural consequences are much more effective than punishment.

my child broke the window. i canceled her hair appointment and she paid for that window. she went over on her phone minutes...she busted her *** earning money to pay it, knowing full well that i would have her phone turned off if she didn't pay it by the due date.

if there's a consequence, i stick by it, even if it's inconveniencing ME, as well. i think that's the real issue...those that say, "if A isn't done in time, we won't go do B," and then deciding to go anyway at the last minute "just this once". there has to be consistency, and very clear rules...kids LIKE structure, and they like knowing what's expected of them.

if i strike an adult, i go to jail. if i strike the most helpless of all...nothing happens. how is this fair?
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Foliel

Sat 07/25/09 05:46 PM

I agree with lulu but I also stress that not all children are the same and not all punishments work the same.

My mom tried her best with my youngest sister. She never spanked her, tried the negative reinforcement, groundation and such. It never worked. She treated all of us with respect and my youngest sister treats her like dirt.

I was spanked and I do not go around hitting people, I don't believe in physical violence. My youngest sister on the other hand, hits people all the time. I love my sister, but I don't like her.

My mom had very clear rules, and when my youngest sister broke them, she got punished..only to break them again and again. She didn't care about the consequences. She is now 20 soon to be 21...and is no better off than when she was a child.

Spanking don't work for some but for others it does.
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lulu24

Sat 07/25/09 06:13 PM

foliel, consequences are much more effective when they directly apply to the situation at hand. they need to be more realistic, more like you would find in the real world.

if i don't fill my mom's car with gas, what happens? do i...become grounded? get real, lol. no...but i'm not likely to be able to borrow her car again. if i break a window, do i...become grounded? not be able to go to the movies? nah, doesn't happen, unless the money to fix the window took away from the movie money.

"we'll all be able to go to the park after we get our chores done" is more effective than "you can't go, because you didn't do your chores."

i've read quite a bit about your sister...and i'm wondering if there's a conduct disorder or something there. if so, it wouldn't have necessarily mattered what your mother did...and yes, every person is different.
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Modela

Sat 07/25/09 07:27 PM


I was subjected to TORTURE as a child....I must have been really loved. flowerforyou


LOL.. am with you my friend. I turn out a good person after the strict disciplined. Never tried bad stuff because of fear... I managed and am grateful!
Foliel's photo

Foliel

Sat 07/25/09 09:39 PM


foliel, consequences are much more effective when they directly apply to the situation at hand. they need to be more realistic, more like you would find in the real world.

if i don't fill my mom's car with gas, what happens? do i...become grounded? get real, lol. no...but i'm not likely to be able to borrow her car again. if i break a window, do i...become grounded? not be able to go to the movies? nah, doesn't happen, unless the money to fix the window took away from the movie money.

"we'll all be able to go to the park after we get our chores done" is more effective than "you can't go, because you didn't do your chores."

i've read quite a bit about your sister...and i'm wondering if there's a conduct disorder or something there. if so, it wouldn't have necessarily mattered what your mother did...and yes, every person is different.


she has adhd at least thats what they say, but that doesnt account for alot of her action or the way she treats my mom.

I do agree that spanking should not be the answer to all bad things, but it can be effective when all else fails. I was spanked and turned out just fine.
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Gossipmpm

Sun 07/26/09 04:01 AM

There's a thin line between spanking and abuse

A little spanking once in awhile

Or out right hitting?
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1956deluxe

Sun 07/26/09 05:55 AM



I was subjected to TORTURE as a child....I must have been really loved. flowerforyou


LOL.. am with you my friend. I turn out a good person after the strict disciplined. Never tried bad stuff because of fear... I managed and am grateful!


My Dad was a POW of the Japanese in the Philippine Islands during WWII and learned torture first hand. Although he toned down the technique, my brothers and I knew where he got the ideas from. It sure kept us on the straight an narrow. drinker
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Jon85213

Sun 07/26/09 11:35 AM


There's a thin line between spanking and abuse

A little spanking once in awhile

Or out right hitting?


depends on the motives behind it. never spank in anger. whats hard is dealing with kids when the other parent keeps enforcing the idea they do not have to listen to you and you have no authority over them. They become disrespectful. makes it hard to discipline at that point.
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Ladylid2012

Sun 07/26/09 11:41 AM

There is never a reason to hit, specially one who is smaller, younger and you are their world. :heart:
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Dragoness

Sun 07/26/09 11:43 AM


Dhs runs most laws in the state, they believe in there bi laws that spanking children is harmful to there growth. They believe that you can 're direct' your child to a better understanding.

are you for spanking or re directing your child.

Were you spanked as a child or talked too.

I have never had a spanking in my life.......... from my parents! NO JOKING>>> they did not believe in it...

Out come, I spend my life feeling as i was never loved! When all the other children, got chores, and allowance, spankings.

I got what ever i wanted, Go to your room.. OK GREAT! I can watch colored tv, turn on the radio, play games, call my girlfriends and with in 20mints i am walking out the house to go and play.

While all the other kids are grounded for 2 weeks.. who suffered.. ME, I had no one to play with.. Haa haa ha

Yes! I had children, YES i spanked them and YES they love me so much and respect me.

NO! I hated my parents, and i did not respect them not until I turned 28yrs old... Now I know the Truth....

they were beaten with belts........ OOOPPSSSS>>>>>



The psychology of spanking is flawed in that it teaches the child that the proper response of not getting what you want is violence. And that people who treat you violently love you.

I was whipped, slapped and spanked as a child, most of my greatest learning though came from the punishment after the violence. Staying in my room without television or not being allowed to go outside and play. I learned more from this "time out".

When I was raising my children I felt the urge to do what I was raised with to them but I fought it. I did end up spanking on a few occasions and it did not teach them as well as the time out type stuff.
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Dan99

Sun 07/26/09 11:44 AM

PRO - It shuts them the hell up