And in saying so, JustAGuy....what works for you...works for you...
I would love to hear your daughter's version...
But that's my whole point, Jess.
What works for one parent isn't going to work for all.
I'm not saying every parent should spank their child.
All I am saying is that if the other disciplines, such as time out, taking stuff away from them or whatever, aren't working, then continually pursuing them is silly.
After all, the definition of insanity is " repeating the same action repeatedly and expecting a different outcome ".
" Ok mister. You are getting a time out. "
When time out is over, the kid goes back to doing what he/she was doing, but maybe a little more carefully so as not to get caught.
" I told you not to do that. You are getting another time out. "
Does that seems sensible to you???
My daughter, from the reports I have gotten from some folks, is a very well adjusted, polite, intelligent child.
From what I have been told, the only thing that may have messed her up is that her mom left the state with her a long time ago and denied her access to me.
My daughter was, and still is, the absolute highlight of my life. I cherish her more than my life. She truly was a gift to me. I would do anything, ANYTHING to get back the time with her that was taken from me.
As far as hearing my daughter's version...I would be relatively sure that she wouldn't be able to remember me swatting her on the butt.
But who knows. Maybe I ' scarred her for life '.
I'll ask her when/if I ever get to see her again.
I feel so sad for you JustAGuy....
I agree doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result is pure madness.
Resorting to striking a child...(and a smack is that, no matter which way we want to dilute it)...is the parent being unable to come up with understanding the child....it's an act of frustration.....or worse, a threat.
Removing the offending article, or child from the offending act, is always first port of call for me.
Then asking why is it you wish to continue doing that?
I talk with my child...as an infant and a tiny little person, a preteen, an older teen..obviously age appropriate conversation..
Time outs? yes...in another part of the same room, or in an open room, where they can see you...for little people this can be effective.
I am always cautious of not instilling a sense of abondonment...and never resort to threats.