Is there a proper non-spanking punishment for a child that cannot and will not sit in a chair for a time out? Nor does this child stay in his/her room when told they are being punished. Nor does this child care that you've taken away all their toys. Nor does this child care they can't watch TV. ETC.... I don't think anyone here in this post has ever dealt with a real defiant child that will challenge everything you ask them to do. Except for Quietman's parents of course... lol
I'm serious, I've seen it over and over again. These kids make fools out of their parents. Running them ragid to try and keep up with what the kid will do next, cuz that kid KNOWS nothing REALLY bad is going to happen for what they're doing! They're just going to be told to sit, which they already know they won't be doing so no skin off their butt for it.
A time out will only work, if you're dealing with a child that already listens to you. If a child will not listen to you, they will not follow through with their punishments either. Then what???
Go to your room becomes, Oh yeah? I'll jump out the window.
All these posters of parents in here against spanking are usually female for one, that's a natural given... no offence...
But they are forgeting entirely that they are talking only of their OWN experience with their OWN children over and over again. Hey, news flash, you've got super genius kids that never needed spanking??? GREAT for you! YOUR kids are not the norm, you didn't have eoungh kids to have a well rounded opinion of this world full of defiant kids. So get over yourself and stop being selfrightous, realize your story may not always be the best example to go off of.
Ever think you may have gotten lucky with how it all went with your kids? If not, I encourage you to read the first line above again.
depends on the age of the child what can be done. for some ideas try dr lemans book have a new kid by friday. there are a few suggestions that might help. quick read you can get through it in a few hours or a week reading a couple chapters a day. not knowing all the things you have tried it would be hard to tell what to advise. one thing he does advise for situations like this is wait for teachable moments. these are moments when you have the child's attention usually because of what they did earlier. here is an example.
here is a link that explains another one of his books how to make children mind without loosing yours.
http://video.yahoo.com/watch/3140968/8912267
as far as being anti-spanking dr. lehman is not. what he is for is spanking in a controlled environment.
1) never when angry
2) explanation of why it is occurring.
3) always open handed
4) not more then one or two slaps on the bottom.
also dr. lehman is a parent himself he has gone through the frustration of raising children