(Yes I know my spelling is awful and my grammar is even worse, but I am working on it, and it has gotten far better since I began posting on these forums.)
Honestly, I got a whoopin almost every day of my childhood from my real father. My brother got those "guilt" punishments.
Looking at both of us today, my brother is really messed up in the head, but the problem is that he trusts me so much I am one of the very few people who get to see that side of him. I personally can never do that to a child.
Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying I am perfect in any shape, form, or fashion, but what I am saying is that simply saying no to a whoopin because of what it is can not be the way. There is a difference between a whoopin and a beating.
If the child knows and understands boundaries, and you set him rules, I think a fair middle ground can be made.
EXAMPLE:
Doing each of the chores is a different amount of money towards thier weekly allowance. If any one of them is not done, you subtract that amount from the total. Me personally I would offset the scales so that if they did not do at least 50% of the chores, they would get nothing, but if they did it all, I might give them a little more here and there.
On the other hand, outright doing something wrong, like calling someone a name. First offence, warning, second offence, well, my cousin said it the best... "I raise my man voice." And any offence after that, the whoopin ensues.
I personally believe anything other than an open hand is abuse, even though I got the switch, the belt, the hangar, the 2x4, the shoe, and many other various things I would rather not mention. But an open palm on the rear after them knowing they have broken the rule more than once, that is not abuse or a beating. That right there is a whoopin for breakin a rule.
IMHO it teaches consequences, at the same time, teaches responsibility as they learn to do their chores and have privilages taken away, at the same time, simply doing something wrong teach them accountability.
EDIT: And yes, if I did do something wrong at school, like get in a fight. The teacher would give me a whoopin, call my parents, and since they were never at home, I had to go to my uncle's house who lived across the street, get a whoopin there, they would take me to the other person's house, I would apologise for getting into a fight, and when my pops came home, I would get a whoopin then as well. The reasoning, if I won, I got a whoopin for getting into a fight. If I lost, I would get a whoopin for losing a fight
Also, I can never agree on that many whoopins to a child, but I guess as I was raised that way, and believe I am (mostly) saine, it can't be all bad ya know?
Edited by
Rasmus916
on Tue 09/15/09 12:23 PM