I read the title and it made my mouth water a little. Yes I do.

If someone is just looking for physical attraction, that's their choice. If someone is looking more for personality, that's also their choice. Everyone is going to be different.

I am highly disappointed in some of the things that I have read. I think some of you need to watch the movie Shallow Hal. Sometimes, I wish a lot of people could have experiences like Hal did.

Also, before I go one, I'd like to say there is nothing wrong with skinny or fit people. I knew 'em all in real life. Just this post touched a nerve with me .. so here it is.

And I am going write my opinion on this topic without pointing any fingers or blame.

Being shallow is lame. Being too picky is just as bad. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. Do I have meat on my bones? Yes. And I even workout. but never in a million years would I want to look like a model (again, not trying to offend anyone.) And never in a million years would I wish NOT to have some meat on my bones. We are who we are. If I was born to be a size 2 I'm sure I'd be perfectly happy. But I wasn't and I never will be and I'm fine by that too.

I like my men with some meat on their bones for reasons that have to do with the bedroom (hahaha) And I'm not saying I only date one type of guy. I've dated skinny guys, fit guys, heavy guys, etc. I'm just more drawn to men with beer bellies, and arm muscle.

Anyway, I do agree people should exercise on a daily basis to stay healthy. But that is up to them. And how someone wants to live their life .. is not up to me or you. And whatever they choose, we should accept. Nagging gets old after a while. Who really wants to hear it?

and who knows .. maybe your perfect girl isn't the painted picture you have in your mind. so the question is ... what awesome things will you be missing out on by being so picky? Probably a lot.

WE ARE WHO WE ARE. WE LIKE WHO WE LIKE. But there's no need to go on a rant about obesity and "ugly" people.

Some people do consider that shallow!

Relatively speaking, I think its far less shallow than refusing to date brunettes.



Generally, its definitely a worthwhile endeavor to critique our values and the values of those around us, as this leads people to dialog, examination, and contemplation of our values both individually and as a group. This in turn has some very real effects in the world, especially in how people are treated. Consider how differently black people and women are treated today in the USA then they were 50 years ago. Many factors contribute to this maturation of our culture, and critiquing our values has part of that.



Now you are bringing in a very real but separate motivation some people have for bitching about other people's preferences - they personally feel locked out by those preferences, and they resent it. I think this is one of the points that Okami is making, and its a valid point. This isn't the only reason people have for pointing out shallowness.

I understand, that for you to experience physical attraction for a woman you've already judged as unattractive, you would have to trick yourself in the manner that you describe.

Its not rational for you to assume that all people are like you.




If I implied that you would be limited to stupid or shallow women, I certainly didn't mean to.



I'm not here to tell you that you are wrong for doing so. In fact, I said that its good for you to know who you are, and to be honest with yourself about it. It would really suck for both of you if you were to date a woman you found unattractive and lie to yourself about it.

I say you are wrong to assume that people who choose women you find ugly are doing so because they can't get better. I date women you would find amazingly hot, and women you would find ugly - since I prioritize other factors in my choice of women.




I somewhat agree with you, but to me this is a separate issue. I value fitness, and I prefer (but don't require) that my partners value fitness as well.

Spider wrote:





TheCaptain wrote:


I was thinking the same thing.

By no means do I think I know everything,One of the reasons I am always traveling so I can keep learning,
this is just one subject the irritates the hell out of me and I realize not everyone is like me, that's cool what I wish though is for everyone to frown upon obesity instead of making excuses and lying to people that it is ok then people would change.

No way in hell will I date a woman that is Fat or Big and I sure as hell wont date a Mythical BBW, because being fat represents laziness lack of a standards for oneself (unless you just gave birth or have that supposed disease that only Americans seem to get where they gain weight) If Big women would spend half the time trying to cover up their weight or in front of the mirror trying to overcompensate for their unattractive figure and would stop taking short cuts and really do the right thing to get fit and better looking then we wouldn't have a problem

I am shallow because I wont date a Big girl fine, I prefer attractive women but lets say a slender girl with no shape and she is doesn't have quite the face but was an awesome girl I'd date her, does that still make me shallow

I think not people are hating on my posts because I am so militant against Fat women I am militant against men as well but I don't see them as possible sexual partners so I don't worry as much lol

Being Unattractive is not a deal breaker for me I will go ahead and put that out there but being fat definitely is a dealbreaker for me

And all of you encouraging people and saying it is ok to be fat its stupid, why not encourage your spouse to be fit working out together is fun or setting dates that involve physical activity you know.

I am really not that bad of a guy but there's somethings that got to change

Okami,

I don't think you are a bad guy.

I also think that you are not alone in your beliefs. There are probably many people reading this thread who agree with you, but they don't say it so directly because they know they will get hated on for it.


Like you, I value fitness. I'd also like to see more people get off their *** and exercise more, but I don't think that hating on fat people is constructive. I'm pretty sure you won't believe me - this will seem like a contradiction to you - but there is a way in which you can 'accept' people's flaws and also encourage them to be a better person at the same time.

a pretty lady started this thread in the hopes to hear from a man that might be interested in meeting her. how the flock did this thread get so far off topic

I was in the military the way we encourage in the military is call names tell a person they are pathetic until they move their arses and get thins done

Some instructors in the fight world are the same lol

And massage trade I totally agree with you in some senses and don't think your contradicting yourself

but I am honest with myself and everyone and will say what people are are afraid to say but always think

Maybe I shouldn't be so militant about things but this is one subject I am

And I love to see women and men accomplish goals and lose tons of weight it's amazing and I am very happy for it

Just wish more people were up for the challenge

Wow...how sad.


To the OP...


ese...

U r absolutely correct gals with sm meat luk much attractive . . Specially if it is at right places . .skinny gals jst luk gud on ramp only

U shud b sm gud writer ,really i apreciate d way u write

Oh man.! What the hell are we talkin about.! I would prefer dating a women with some meat on her bones, nothin wrong with that., but only if im in love with her.. To fall in love with someone i not only take the physical appearance factor but also her personality, way of thinking n other characters., many chubby women have special characters which are impressive, n those fit chicks show off attitude., so the point is nothin wrong with heavyset girlz. The thing that matters is love.

That may work in the military and your world/the fight world, but in regular life, that doesn't go over so well. Constantly putting down people is just going to make people look at you in a very negative way and that normally doesn't work well when you're trying to get people to change.

Saying what you think is fine, I think you just need to look at your approach to doing that, though. Tone down the negative way of going about it and you may come off as seeming more helpful than hateful.

People respond to encouragement much better than being put down.

Actually Sociology 101 teaches us that it does work. The threat of public ridicule does make people change their behaviors.