Although it sounds like bashing, you are actually just stating the facts. Most guys are looking for sex most of the time. Depending upon their practiced presentation, they are usually more successful than the guys who are looking for a long term or life long relationship.

Women mostly go by first impressions which largely leads to the problems you describe. "someone decent" usually fails in comparison to "good first impression", at least initially. The part you are wrong about is your point that "... the right guy never comes along for so many women." In truth, the right guy comes along and is ignored, and the woman pays attention to the smooth talker who just wants sex.

when have some self awareness otherwise you will still be running in auto....best that can come of it is the awareness of how you got to this point in your life ( your part, relationships are never one handed ).......metalwing... you are correct my self and most have spent most of ther lives engaged in social intercourse,its a waste of time. we only ever realy have is NOW.....most spend there lives recycling favorite feelings and never getting to realy knowing them selves....the most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves...some never wake up and start experancing all the nows to the fullest, it was realy brouht home to me when i started dating again so many wounded souls..........

i have had a person put someones elses face on me so they can make me pay for there sins....dating is mixed bag....finding ''the one'' is much harder than any task i have ever had......the one thing i know is she will have to be a lot smarter them myself.....

the first thing women do is test us, its not a concious thing. they need to know as fast as possible to find out if we are who we present ourselves to be....it realy hurts when i am judged on a superficial rush to judgment.....getting to the the talks is the issue.....most only get to meet the adative wounded child and not the beautiful natural child we all have inside us....

the first thing women do is test us, its not a concious thing. they need to know as fast as possible to find out if we are who we present ourselves to be....it realy hurts when i am judged on a superficial rush to judgment.....getting to the the talks is the issue.....most only get to meet the adative wounded child and not the beautiful natural child we all have inside us....

There's no avoiding the time factor no matter how many questions we ask at the beginning.Answers can be misunderstood,the method of how we do things might be too different even if we agree on the outcome.But it's how we gain and use the experiences that really matter,and the hope that we meet that certain someone who locks in naturally with our way of doing things...

Every relationship begins because of something good, something positive...If they end because of something bad or negative, only the future is affected, the past remains unchanged...Emotional investment in others is never a wasted effort, never...

In response to the original post... I think a lot of people spend too much time during the first stage of the relationship on what are really trivial and unimportant things. You talk about things like sports, animals, hobbies, the newest movies, etc, because those are "safe" topics. (Most of the time - some people get downright vicious if you dare to challenge their sports team!)

But these are not things that define a good, healthy relationship. Most people ignore big-ticket items like religious beliefs (or lack thereof), political alignment, or the status of previous relationships because they feel talking about such things is "moving too fast", or they're afraid of rejection or scaring off the other person. This is in large part why I prefer online dating - I get to see some of the big-ticket items right off the bat, like religious orientation and whether or not they want children in the future (or have some already). Frequently, you also get a snapshot of their interests and hobbies, which gives you a good idea whether you have anything in common with them or not on the "like" level.

If you spend your time talking about the small, non-relationship-defining "safe" topics, you may develop a liking for the person you're with - but then when you start talking about things that truly matter in a long-term relationship, you may discover that you have important, life-defining differences. This leads to an attitude of "You made me like you just to deceive me!", and feelings of hurt and betrayal - and wasted time.