I prefer a man who has children BUT I want a man who has adult children in the general range and functioning level of my own. I am not going to back track and redo the whole kids .teens, early twenty drama again.
Living on their own, working, raising their children, making the majority of their own decisions without my intervention. I have the time of my life to enjoy my life and prepare for that time when I will have more needs than I have now.
I am a believer in "Lifetime Parenting". That means adult children having a family relationship, a place to turn in crisis, but being independent enough that they are not a part of my daily life. Or that I am always the one who does the holidays.
The exception to this would be a man with an adult child who is because of trauma, birth defect, or catastrophic illness could not live alone. I am a realist and understand resources that should be available do not exist. I would have to consider that relationship and see how committed he was to making it not more of a burden for me than him but I would not reject the relationship straight out.
What I am not going to tolerate for even a minute is a parent that allows an adult child to use drugs and alcohol or use a behavioral disability as and excuse to be a pain in the... well you get the idea. This goes for Grandkids too.
Edited by
PacificStar48
on Mon 09/21/15 04:25 PM