ok tessa try it this way. we both frequent the same pub. i've seen you a time or two and even spent one night shooting pool at the next table so i heard enough of you talk to decide i was interested. so the next time we are both there i walk up and introduce my self and even mange to say something cute that fits with some of your overheard conversation. no you really aren't interested in me. do you stare through me like i don't even exist? or do you demonstrate some level of common courtesy and say thanks but no thanks?
I only now saw this. Sorry, I'm late...
I see what you mean, but you have to admit that real-life situation is not quite the same as internet viruality. In the situation as you describe it in a pub, I,too, would probably notice you and if I saw that you are reasonably nice guy and you showed interest for me but I wouldn't be interested, I would surely say at least kind and polite "no". I would even say "thanks" and "sorry", i am that kind...
Actually, i have a tendency to be too kind (I might even suggest here that "we can have a friendly drink, anyway"), and i have had too many situations (in real life and internet communication) that a kind "no" was not taken seriously. There are guys out there that simply won't take "no" for an answer and will misunderstand any kindness or any answer as encouragement and won't simply leave you alone, belive me... but maybe I attract such men, don't know... That's why i have come to the conclusion that the best way to say "not interested" (in internet communication, at least) and to avoid any further misunderstanding and unnecesary explanations is simply not answering or stopping communication. It really works...
On the other hand, no answer can sometimes mean that the person is not able to make an immediate answer, is indecisive or shy and wants to take some time to think (I, too, beheave like that sometimes
)-- have you thought of that?
And anyway, why would an actual "no, thanks" answer make so much difference from not getting an answer at all? Is it because it gives you a false hope? In this case I think you just have to realize that it's you giving yourself a false hope, not that person who hasn't answered ...
Edited by
456tessa
on Tue 08/25/15 11:10 AM
I have often asked myself what the reason is for this, and i think it's probably either laziness, distrust, negative preconditioning (like "Even if i read/write, they won't answer" or "Most of what people write, is a lie" etc.-- we read some of them here...
) or they are simply scammers with their own agenda.
let's drink to that Tess! I totally agree with u
)-- have you thought of that?
