"Madam, i am your only adam"

"Do you prefer to be called Ma'am, Miss, or Mother May I...?"

"Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right"

Sleep good?


Looked like it through your window

I might as well call you “Google” ’cause you have everything I’m searching for....

Fruit and vegetable puns/pick up lines are the best.
You look radishing today.

You have a nice smile, wanna make out for a while?

Never used personally but my ex told me it worked on her once.

One I liked

"It's your birthday isn't it?"

"Somebody threw a mattress in my pickup. Wanna check it out?"

If you're not doing anything this weekend you wanna pretend we are married and the kids are staying at your parents house?

I go down on the first date, how about you?
🤦‍♂️

I actually heard Owen Wilson say this once on t.v., and I nearly fell on the floor laughing...


"Oh my God, are those real???"

He was interrupting Maria Menounos during an interview...

"I like your mustache! How about I come over sometime, and let you borrow my razor?"

"It must be Christmas....because, baby, you're the whole package!"

Do you want to play with my pet snake?

"I must be on safari 'cos you're drivin' me wild!"

ANY of those canned, trite, bulls*** things the scamnmers use..

Also, any of the lame-a** faux "questions" that some guys seem to think are so "witty"..
They're not..

I replied to one guy who used on of those on me with one of my own..I asked:
"Did it hurt?"

Did what hurt, he asked..

"When you fell into the toilet, you piece of ****..."

"Excuse me....Can you hold this while I pee?"

“If you were a phaser on Star Trek…”
“You’d be set to stun.”