Not that it matters because some would never understand the concept but
My first son was born when as 18. I worked my day job then quickly threw on a pair of work overalls and pumped gas until 9:30PM 5 day a week.( in Jersey you can't pump your own gas). I did this for 3 years and the money made from the night job paid for the stuff like formula, pampers, and my sons regular doctor bills. I worked both jobs, left at 6:30AM got home at 10:00PM. My wife did side jobs whenever she could.
It was a terrible job, I hated it. One night some guys driving by threw a plastic cup of soda at me.. hit me in the chest. It was demoralizing. But I continued to work there because jobs were tight, I was young and had little experience and it was a recession
But most of all because my son needed that stuff and he was MY responsibility.
This is what 10's of millions of other mother and fathers also did.
your son had a mother and father around ... two potential sources of income, and two potential sets of supervision
single parents doing it on their own, dont have it so fortunate ...
Kudos to you and ALL parents who care about their kids 'needs', which Im sure most do regardless of financial or employment status.
that is because we were taught personal responsibility. And in " my world" you create a baby... you raise that kid. You don't and you are going to hear it.. everyday, from your family, your relatives. and then her family and her relatives. You would be a disgrace to your family until you do " the right thing"
Especially your father and grandfathers.. they are going to make sure you " do the right thing".. but then again.. they are in your life to begin with.
personal responsibility
something that escapes baby daddies and something maybe the woman should think about... before they bed down with a guy...Hmmm
define 'raise' ... being gone 16 hours a day and giving them the leftover time and energy when you arent asleep?
like I said, paying the bills is not the ONLY responsibility parents have or feel an obligation to tend to ...
and personal responsibility, with kids, is a two way street, there are TWO parents, when both are responsible it works fine, when that two becomes one or any other of lifes set backs happen, people need help.
responsibility does escape alot of men, but its usually not something they are forthcoming about before they 'bed' down with a woman.
Define raise:
yes I was working 16 hours a day and my wife was home with our son. I made the money ,she was with our son, she paid the bills, cooked, took care of the baby, made all the doctor arraignments, cleaned, she took care of me as well, ect, ect, ect. On the weekends we did family things.. the park , the zoo, shopping or just time at home
And while I was working the 2 jobs I was concentrating on bettering myself at my first job.. which I did, working up the ladder and getting paid more money. Then when financially I could, I dropped the second job. My son was 3 1/2 by then
And if working 16 hours a day and missing some of the early upbringing is needed... then you do it. As opposed to staying home, your kid not having what he or she needs and having other people finance your family
That is how I define raise.
And please don't tell me a lot of these women do not know the caliper of the man she is about to have unprotected sex with. Many of these guys have already fathered kids.. and they know that too. It is a small world in some areas.. a very small world.
no. I wont. you all are experts on everyone else's intents, experiences, and mindsets. Still doesnt change the huge difference between handling parenting responsibilities between TWO people and trying to do it all with only one.
And again, nobody in the government told them to have unprotected sex and kids. Nobody told her to have sex with someone who would not be able to or not have any intensions of financially supporting her and the child. And they know these guys.. they know their backgrounds.
And you really think they don't know who they are having sex with?.. really?. you don't think that they know a lot of these guys have records.. are involved with drugs.. are gang members... really? Do you think all the gangbangers are men?.. guess what, women too. And a lot of these women hook up with gangbangers for one reason.. drugs and money.
You asked me to define " raise" I did.. and we are not " experts"... just responsible.
So, don't get upset with people who " did the right thing", which is the vast majority.
