Back in December I was all excited about my new adventure of seasonal work and travel. I was blessed to be able to go to Colorado. Back in April I felt blessed for the many opportunities in front of me and choose to come here to Mackinac Island... it was a well thought out decision.

When I was offered the Innkeeper position I accepted the challenge to pretty much work round the clock with very little down time and no days off, lol. It was a great opportunity. There's only been two days since mid May where I left the Island for some serious recoup time. This position was supposed to end in November... however the 15th of this month will be my last day.

For reasons not known yet I am physically unable to do the job expected of me. I'm in constant pain, and my emotional state of mind is totally wiped out to the point where I am not that sweet woman I was a few months ago. I'm on the verge of smoking, binging, or whatever it takes to feel better.... but I think a few virtual hugs will suffice.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this at all cost. But I forgot to accept that I have limitations just like anyone. I'm the kind of person who functions so much better with two days a week off and being able to clock out and be done for the evening.

Rather than pat myself on the back and tell myself good job trying, but it's not for you... I'm beating myself up and feeling like I failed. I feel pretty isolated here with no real support or anyone other than my boss to talk to... which isn't really an option.

So right now I could use a little TLC... I know this is a blessing in disguise and there are more exciting adventures ahead of me if I want them... I kind of just want to go home and rest for a while.

Thanks everyone ((((Hugs))))

(((((Hug)))))
hang in there

Thanks Dat

Don't beat yourself up too bad.
Bite the bullet and chock it up to a learning experience.
Hopefully you have something else lined up?

I've left jobs that were not what I expected or that had bosses I couldn't contend with.
I see no shame?
Its your life, if you're miserable, its up to you to make a change.
Consider getting some testimonial letters from guests or staff.
Might help you if this employer tries to screw you over when looking for your next job.

(((River))) you are a blessing and you deserve to getaway and do you for a minute before your next adventure

((((((RIVER)))))).

(((((Group Hug)))))

Hopefully all works out for You !

Best of luck. I wish you did not have such a hard road ahead of you

You are a super woman, but you may not be Superwoman, dear. Sounds like you went in with the best intentions and all, but your mind and body are reminding you that they need care too. Sounds like you're working too hard and need a break. You got this, I can tell you're a strong woman and can handle life pretty well, even if you may not always feel you can.

I'm sure this weather isn't much helping, but it'll clear up and things will get better.

Thanks Tom

It's definitely been a learning experience. I've always said I function better working an 8 hour shift with at least two days off, three days off is optimal when I'm in a relationship.

I wanted to challenge this thought pattern to see what would happen if I pushed myself... psyched myself into believing sure I can, no problem. I even told myself it was just like when I raised kids. Full time job, 24/7.

The work industry discovered long ago that employees do better with time off to regroup and have recreational time. So naturally I'm thinking it's a programed idea that I "can't" do it, so just reprogram myself into yes I can.

Didn't work... People, at least this person needs time off... completely off the clock.

I do have two for sure options. One is to go back to the YMCA in Colorado. And the other is to go back to my work place in the middle Keys. Plus I have enough of a cushion that I have time to look and maybe pick a different seasonal position.

I still have a home in Florida, won't know if it's a healthy option for me until I go down there.

Thanks nawty

((((Arf))))

You're such a sweetheart Arf. I'll be okay and the road a head of me isn't really that tough. I actually have a home to go back to and a few options for my next seasonal work assignment.

I'm just struggling with the fact that there's something I "can't" do. That's probably the toughest thing for me to handle and accept in life.

Hugs kiddo, and thanks!

(((((2e))))) Thank you my dear friend

Thank you Toody

Thank you Ana

Thanks totage for your supportive words. I guess I do want to be Superwoman... I used to tell people I didn't, but my actions suggest otherwise. Guess I need to look at that and where it's coming from.

Right now I'm not working hard, lol. I'm totally burnt out. I think that's part of the problem as to why I'm being so hard on myself. I'm not giving 100%... though I guess I don't really know what that would be. I'm doing the best I can do, but it isn't good enough for the employers... they want more from me, while at the same time telling me to relax and that I'm not a prisoner, but when I relax they tell me I forgot to do something and can't just sit around, but then I need to relax according them......

Holy friggen cow!!! No wonder I'm such a mess right now...

But YAY.... Now's the countdown.... 11 more days

Thanks again

Try to find the time to get your thoughts in order.
Think about making a pros/cons list.
Treat it like a buisness action plan.
Schedule 'done by' dates for the things that have to happen befor other things can happen.
If nothing else, the focus will get your mind off your misery.

Work your assets, you have concierge experience.
Perhaps broadening your horizons will open new opportunities for you.
Consider higher end hotel or amusement parks.
What about a tour guide for a zoo or even a service that provides guides for day trips?
Being a people person, you might have some success in a company's HR department. There is also a demand for executive personal assistants.

I don't have to tell you that you need balance between work and down time.
List it as a must have 'balance' on your pros/cons list.
Job burnout is real. Its more than just mental fatigue, it affects your health too. It shrinks your support circle and when it catches up to you, ya feel alone.

You have around 90 days left. You need down time.
Have you considered taking a short leave of absense?
Maybe 2 weeks to just go play?
Might be a solution to the immediate problem that will allow you to finish the term?

There is also the issue of labor laws that might be being violated by your employer.
http://www.indeed.com/cmp/Chili%27s/faq/what-is-the-typical-host-hostess-work-hours?quid=1bmbtjcbobrclfmj
http://www.quora.com/What-is-the-meaning-of-24-hour-concierge
http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs18.htm
http://www.dol.gov/general/topic/workhours/breaks
Fact Sheet #22: Hours Worked Under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA)
http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs22.htm

I know that when I possessed an active/valid CDL it didn't matter if I was driving or not, it was against the law for me to be on the clock over 12 hours in one 24 hour period. the company then changed it to 9 hours per 24 hour period.
When I was 'on call' on Saturday, I had to come in early even tho I was on night shift because they were required to give me downtime before I could clock in again.
Not sure it works that way for hostesses but you might want to find out?
I'm sure I don't know your specifics but if you get no time to go to the doctors or get a proper night's sleep, in my book that is abuse.

Just now saw your reply because it took me a bit to look up some info.
Gotta remember that we are not spring chickens anymore.
20 years ago you might have been able to adjust.

I'm glad to read that you have options.
Your fatigue is probably affecting your self-esteem a lil.
Its gunna be alright.
A little rest and you'll be right as rain.
Being tired or in pain causes the mind to fragment.
If you're fragmented ya can't think straight and emotions can get out of control.
The fix is to eat right and get some sleep.

Here is a lil music to help you thru...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9PG6_S5obc
Chillout Lounge Relaxing 2018 Mix Music For The Beach Top relax Feeling Happy Summer Mix Vol 16