I usually aren't nervous for a meet & greet. It's a low emotional-investment thing. You don't know each other yet, you got nothing to lose.
It's when you like him, like each other. Then it gets more difficult. And yep, low self-esteem. I got much much better at it, but 10 years with a narcissist have left a mark.
Also in settings where you haven't talked online already, like seeing a nice guy somewhere in the real world, and then initiating... THAT I too find difficult.
It's not being scared of the man you want to date, not for me at least. It's the problem that you want to get it too right. You want to be perfect. Which doesn't work.
I've also gotten better at it, but since it's not something I do that often, it's not a skill you really practice.
That's why training yourself to make it easier so you loosen that 'muscle' more would help. It DOES help, I've done it before. And it's actually a lot of fun.
As it is I cannot bring myself to it just yet. The assortment I come across isn't really inspirational either, hihi.
The ones that could be a potential date/match tend to either live far away, have young kids (often living with him), or are anti-smoking.
I think I'm just not quite ready yet.
Yes, I can relate!
Training and practicing I think is important, especially for those of us who have had traumatic experiences. Much of what I have felt in the past felt more like a PTS reaction now that I think about it more.
Practicing and training yourself will help to address the trigger points for when those brakes suddenly go on and it will be easier to tackle it and disengage the trigger that flips that switch.
Then again... I guess if we were to meet that particular one who rocked our World... that oh so wonderful feeling would be enough to throw those brakes and switches right out the window
Some day! In the meantime, I will lighten up, quite being so tough on myself and have fun with this little training adventure