🤣🤣DENNIS TOO GET BRAIN🤣🤣

Dennis went to his doctor after a long illness, after a series of tests, the doctor sighed and looked at Dennks eye to eye, and said,"I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be
cured, you have two weeks to a month to
live."

Dennis was shocked and saddened by the
news, but he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office
into the waiting room.

There, he saw his son who had been waiting.
🧔Dennis said "Well son, things aren't so well I have cancer, and I've been given a short time to live. Let's head for the joint and have a few beers."
After three or four beers, the two were feeling a little less sober.
🧔He told his friends "I've only got a
few weeks to live as I have been diagnosed with HIV/AIDS."
The friends gave Dennis their condolences,
and they had a couple more beers, after his friends left, Dennis son leaned over and whispered his confusion.
"Dad. I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"
🧔Dennis said"I am dying of
cancer, son I just don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."
Son "Papa you too wise ‍♂️‍♀️
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

FUNNY western people's

Funny .

What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?


A nervous wreck.

If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic.

Funny IU .

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"This gun was loaded with dummy bullets" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair!!"
MORAL: Women are extremely determined,

Funny Apple .

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to the hardware and pick up a hinge. Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom toilet. When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that toilet?" The manager replied, "That's a gold plated toilet and the price is $5000.00."

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive toilet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the toilet"

Funny .

Wonderfully described definitions

CIGARETTE:
A pinch of tobacco
Rolled in paper
With fire at one end
And a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE:
It's an agreement
Wherein
A man loses his bachelors degree
And a woman gains her masters

CONFERENCE:
The confusion of one man
Multiplied by the
Number present

COMPROMISE:
The art of dividing
A cake in such a way that
Everybody believes
He got the biggest piece

TEARS:
The hydraulic force by which
Masculine will power is
Defeated by feminine water-power!

CLASSIC:
A book
Which people praise,
But never read

SMILE:
A curve
That can set
A lot of things straight!

OFFICE:
A place
Where you can relax
After your strenuous
Home life

YAWN:
The only time
When some married men
Ever get to open
Their mouth

EXPERIENCE:
The name
Men give
To their
Mistakes

DIPLOMAT:
A person
Who tells you
To go to hell
In such a way
That you actually look forward
To the trip

OPTIMIST:
A person
Who while falling
From EIFFEL TOWER
Says in midway
"SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

MISER:
A person
Who lives poor
So that
He can die RICH!

FATHER:
A banker
Provided by
Nature

BOSS:
Someone
Who is early
When you are late
And late
When you are early

POLITICIAN:
One who
Shakes your hand
Before elections
And your Confidence
Later

DOCTOR:
A person
Who kills
Your ills
By pills,
And kills you
By his bill

❤TRUE LIFE STORY BUT VERY FUNNY

John and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day, while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and John suddenly dove into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him. swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling John out. The medical director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK. The doctor said, "David, we have good news and bad news for you! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient. you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all." David replied, "Doctor, John didn't hang himself. l hung him there to dry."
🤣🤣🤣

Both funny Apple Love .

Husband: Oh, come on.
Wife: Leave me alone!
Husband: It won't take long.
Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards.
Husband: I can't sleep without it.
Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night?
Husband: Because I'm hot.
Wife: You get hot at the darnedest times.
Husband: If you love me I wouldn't have to beg you.
Wife: If you love me you'd be more considerate.
Husband: You don't love me anymore.
Wife: Yes I do, but let's forget it for tonight.
Husband: Please...go on.
Wife: All right, I'll do it.
Husband: What's the matter? You need a flashlight?
Wife: I can't find it in the dark.
Husband: Oh, for heaven's sake, feel for it!
Wife: There! Are you satisfied?
Husband: Oh, yes.
Wife: Is it up far enough?
Husband: Yeah! that's good.
Wife: Right! Now go to sleep.And the next time you want the bloody window open, do it yourself. 🤣🤣

Funny Apple Love .

GooD

NICE

So in short a person should be
"HUMAN" by default

The mother-in-law, comes home and finds her son-in-law Johnny furiously packing his
suitcase.

"What happened?"

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened! I sent an email to my wife saying
that I was coming home from my trip today.

"I got home and guess what I found? Your daughter yes,your Rachel, with a naked guy
in our marital bed! This is the end of our marriage, I will leave forever!"

"Calm down!" says the mother-in-law. "There is something odd about this story.
Rachel would never do such a thing! Wait a minute while I check what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back with a big smile. "You see, I said there
must be a simple explanation ... Rachel didn't receive your Email.🤣

Funny Apple Love .