Girls, if you’ve ever made the first move and don’t mind sharing, I’m interested in hearing back…

Regarding the 1st move it can be a first kiss, asking someone out or anything along these lines (vulgarity aside) lol

It’s more curiosity, a few instances where I’ve been approached first and really just a conversational piece…

I think there are those that do.
And those that don't make the first move.
Sort of a personality trait I would think.

I am a don't , so of little help to you ;-)

Hi and thanks for your response.

On the contrary, I enjoyed reading what you wrote.

It makes sense what you say regarding a personality trait. From my perspective, women seem to be more open to the idea even if it’s not in their norm. Although, I don’t think women making the 1st move will ever out shadow men.

Generally I am not the one to approach or ask a guy out or something. I prefer to be conquered
But even then it's a 2-way street and typically a woman gives signs of interest that make a man feel confident enough to act, provided he's interested as well.
That can be eye-contact, a smile etc.
I think in the past I've been bold on a few occasions, only to find that doesn't work. Men don't like to be chased.
There will be exceptions to the rule.

As for me, I'm not a woman to whom it feels good when I do the chasing. Just isn't me.

^^^^^^ this

The cave-man in all of us agrees with you ;-)

I have seen a lot of gals though, especially on
here, who have learned to go for it right from
the getgo and I must say with MUCH success.

I marvel at them..not sure if tris bravery
or desperation or just the way they are.

Diddo~~~ I'm not a chaser,nor a begger if it is meant to be it will happen..

I can't say I have ever came right out and asked a guy out.. Hints yes I have done.. At times they asked at times they did not..If not then I took it as they were not interested..

I will not chase anyone but now if one catches my attention enough I may power walk after them

If she's interested in you, she'll let you know someway.

That would be so refreshing to have the lady make the first move. My whole life has been either I move first or there has been no movement at all. I guess I need to read the body language and then go from there.
Of course on a site like this reading the body language is not an option and that makes it more difficult. It is mostly based on messages and forum interactions.
But once in a while, not often, but once in a while one comes along and I just know that it doesn't matter who makes the first move, me or her, what matters is that we found each other and what is important is how we deal with it.

At this stage in life ... I do not hesitate to make the first move, if I feel a kinda connection ... in mind and spirit ... why waste any more time ... and I am pretty sure I have made a complete jackass of myself , flirting with all the ladies on here...even though I have always been shot down , except for that once ... I will still continue my quest and alway make that first suggestion, oops ... first move ...
But yeah ! As Poetry says , it would be refreshing to be chased for once ..

I did a big first move on a guy. It ended very badly. I'm not doing that again.

You can't give up that easily cat! It could be entirely different the next time but you will miss out on something that could be beautiful.

As a woman, I'm not the chaser, I'm the runner. Maybe the widow isn't the best one to ask. I know a lot of men that I counted out resurfaced and their such amazing guys. For me ...I leave room for a man to pursue, chase, hunt. I think it's a primal dominance thing with men. It's so attractive to me.

No I haven't read your book yet Crystal I will soon. I too like to be conquered as Crystal says... That's exactly it.

I understand a lot of men are shy now a days, so I leave a little room, but I consider a man that doesn't act upon it to still have others option (still shopping per say), especially on a dating site. Just ask directly if interested ... "Do you want to go to dinner or coffee?" That shows an interest on your part and don't move on after the first try. A lot of women are messaged by so many men that you get the auto pilot response. For me it takes 2-3 times before I bother, sometimes more.

Also, another thing if she says no off the bat, try again... What do you have to loose? Maybe she's guarded and needs a nudge.


I think a man that text me good morning, good night and takes the time to actually call or video chat me and is consistent about his chase ...well, that shows me he has a serious interest in more than a hook up or one night stand. I will ask him out as a friend. For 2023 I'm going to make it clear to my love interest my wants and needs in a relationship, friendship first for me is a must.


The one thing about my posts is you get more than you bargained for or asked for, it is what it is. Take the advice or leave it. Hope something helps someone. This is just my point of view.

Making a first move on a Girl is quite tactical and takes a lot more than confidence ,but my Trick is to first approach her Closest Friend and ask about Her Interest in me .. The answer will be Via her Friend and thats very clear and Simple .!

Yup, that's usually how it goes when a woman takes over the 'work' that the guy deep down wants to do.
Some may think or say they wished the woman did that, make the first move, but then it's likely because they lack self-confidence or have failed many times which is what happens when you go for the 'wrong' person, or at the wrong moment (for instance when he's been drinking, uugghh!).

Even in this day and age the primal instincts are still in place that a man wants to chase (hunt) and the woman wants to be chased (hunted)/conquered.
If the man didn't have to hunt he's not going to appreciate his conquest meaning it isn't going to work out. These are innate naturally processes that are wired into our primal / reptilian brain.

Whenever I tell this it's ignored so seems people don't want to know while it's factual. We cannot suddenly change our 'mating rituals' while a particular one is hardwired in our brains. And it's there for survival reasons.
You can't simply go against thousands of years of evolution and change that.

The only exceptions would be masculine energy women and feminine energy men as their brains are wired differently.

I can easy do first move if I like the man if he reply back then great if not that his choice

The problem I see is most of us guys do not get the 'hints' that women throw out there. So to what they see as putting it out there in their eyes might be just normal conversation to guys. I know I have been clueless a bunch of times and needed someone else to step in and decode the hints...lol

I don't move either way

I'm not so concerned about who makes the first move as I am about how easily one gives up the chase!

It's kind of like fishing... A fish presents itself and you throw it a hook. She/He bites and you reel it in. However, all fish are different. Understanding the particular fish you're trying to reel in makes a huge difference. Some are slow and steady kind of fish, others are snag it hard and reel it in quickly with all your might kind of fish.

Me, I'm the slow and steady kind of fish. So, even though there's a tiny part of me that prefers the man do the chasing (most likely that innate/law of nature thing that Crystal speaks of).... what really matters to me, is the time and effort he spends while reeling me in.

I’m old fashioned and believe the man should make the first move. Like the Pointer Sisters song “Slow hand” I like a man like that.