I'm high anxiety and have extreme ADHD and I was hardwired for stress since birth. I see my therapist twice a week and I have a counseling life coach.
I'm wondering why you trust these counselors with your contentment? It seems to me (from what you have written) you are not really 'fixing' your mental condition, merely enabling it.
Nobody is 'hardwired' for stress since birth. Stress and anxiety are learned conditions adopted after the age of reasoning. You can't know you are stressed until you can compare the stress conditions to non-stressed conditions. Clearly you were subjected to mental or physical abuse in your early childhood. Its an environmental condition not a genetic one.
Attention deficit means your mind works faster than the stimulus you are encountering. You have problems focusing your thoughts which can be a genetic condition which was reinforced by your environment.
I suggest you find both a psychiatrist and a psychologist who work together with the right drug and the correct counseling.
As for discipline, physical pain is not an effective disciple in and of itself. Discipline is the act of changing a conditioning. Its something you learn not something you do. Its how you master your abilities and learn new ones.
Many people raised by parents who don't understand actual discipline believe 'discipline' needs to always be negative and painful "to drive the point". This is wrong and abusive. It can create 'monsters'. True discipline is both positive and negative but seldomly physically abusive.
As parents, the X and I spanked our children when they were 3-5 years old. We had a house rule that we would never spank more than up to three swats on the bottom and only when they were about to hurt themselves. Most of the time a single swat was effective to change their behavior. It was our opinion, any more than 3 swats and it was for our pleasure, not for the child's benefit.
Once they reached the age of reasoning, the spankings were not as effective as when we took the time to explain and teach them.
Oh, there were times when my boys pissed me off and the got hit but that too was effective for the teen driven behavior.
All in all tho, in my family, love was the teacher.
You believing you NEED to be spanked from time to time means you are not learning the discipline in life you believe you should be learning and need a physical reinforcement to put you back on track.
The problem with that is when you don't get that physical reinforcement, you allow your life to tumble out of your control.
This tells me the discipline you think you are getting is not an effective discipline.
In your mind, you must think you need someone else to keep you aligned.
Most people are not looking for someone they have to teach. They want someone who is able to function on their own. You want to be a kept man.
At your age, you should be able to keep yourself.
There are many types of women and many types of men. I believe most don't want a child in an adult body who they have to care for as children.
To each their own. Personally I don't really care what you do. My relationship with my gf is a strong mature relationship between two adults who have already raised our own families. We don't need (or want) to have to keep one another in line.