If you want an answer to that you have to dig a bit deeper into the "how & why" of the matter.

In general women tend to have abandonment fear and men fear of commitment.
This is not per say based on personal experience, but goes all the way back to the point where we were split into a masculine & feminine half.
Men felt a sense of freedom, eager to roam the world, women felt a sense of loss.
In that sense you can call it the gender's collective wound.

Then there is the collective wound based on history, caused by thousands of years of patriarchal society.
Men were forced out of their hearts, had to be tough, manly, macho and whatnot.
Women were forced out of their sense of self as they had no say, no control over their lives, were married off as if they were cattle, raped, abused and so on. We weren't allowed to have an opinion nor to develop ourselves.

This created co-dependence in many women in general which easily becomes fear of abandonment. A woman alone wasn't safe and wasn't entitled to anything.
We were nothing so we have been shaped by society to be co-dependent and reared with the need for a man in order to be kind of safe.

Men on the other hand lost touch with their feelings more and more as they had to achieve, perform, undertake, make decisions, carry the weight, had to make the world go round and so on.
Men could remain single, or get married and (still) play the field.
But... a certain group of men (richer men often) were forced to marry and produce offspring to keep the family line going. So they were forced to give up their freedom and freedom of choice. These men had little to no choice of whom they'd marry, just as their women had no choice.
Think of the impact of all that!


All this went on for thousands of years.
So when you approach a bloke with the marriage thing he can A) get an overwhelming sense/fear of "I'm going to lose my freedom!" and run for the hills. B) be confronted with too many feelings -either from himself or the woman- that he isn't used to and run for the hills.

What you should do is go for a much softer approach.
First get clear why you want to get married so that you can convey this to a man. But NOT in a way that he feels trapped. Don't make it a demand. No one likes demands and feeling trapped, regardless of gender. Make it more of an open message as to why it matters so much to you. Then he knows what you need and what he can do to make you happy.
On the other hand side, look for love as opposed to a piece of paper. Oftentimes men who say they'll never marry again come to love their new woman so much that they propose without being encouraged.

What that does is A) leave him the option, doesn't corner him. Gives him the time to process it and to step up to the plate to give his girl what she needs.
And B) gives him time and the freedom to choose. Men do better when they think it's their own idea, hihi. That is of course related to them having freedom of choice and not feeling as if they're losing their freedom.

Crystal,

You don't think biology comes in there anywhere?

I think you have a good grip on the history of it all, but I'm not sure you understand the why - entirely.

I like the way you say "think about the impact of it all" because it is something to think about. But if you want to deal with the history of it ALL, you must consider the times even before your markers.

The "patriarchy" you refer to is a system designed for social norms. It is not a bad thing. Riddle me this... would you rather be in a time when you were bonked on the head and dragged to a cave - because that's what happened.

The system put in place, was a system that protected women and provided for them. Call it oppression all you want, but it is a lot better than the alternative. Men know the brutality of other men - that's biological. We size each other up all the time and are prepared to fight at any given moment. And that's nowadays! I think that also speaks as to why women can't compete with men. We'll always go to that level with other men. We're ruthless with each other if it ever came down to it.

Let me know a different system that protects women from men without the involvement of men - because that's what you are calling a "patriarchy"

Men didn't have it easy either... throughout history, only some 33% of men got to reproduce. Some say 40%. Women are double that - on the low side. And I think there's a biological element to all of us to reproduce.

Men are hard, because we have to be hard. It's biological. Women are softer - and that's the beauty of mother nature! Our strengths compliment each other for the best possible survival